A Sabbatical Somewhere

Should I?

Will I?

Am I?

Do I?

Is it I?

Among the infinite number of people, why me?

Questions... Seeking Answers...

Best way to do this is to go to Ayala Mall. Walk around amongst the number of people checking out stuff, shopping or just plainly bumming around. While your at it, pretend you are looking for something.

Then, after finding yourself trapped in being lost in the crowd... You tell yourself, I didn't find the answer... when all along you've got it with you already. But, it's just hard to accept.

Remind yourself, by the way, when you go out from Ayala...to buy at least one thing. That would be your best facade.

Catch a cab (if you have a car, I suggest you go to Ayala on a cab) going home. Fill yourself with thought of appreciation that when you get home, everything's going to be alright. All will fall into place.

Then you'll say, why did I have to go to Ayala. I just wasted my time.

And Maybe

And maybe, I've finally fallen. Or it's just another twist of fate.

As a thinking person, I only see black and white. Never a shade of gray. My life for the past years have always been guarded by correct decisions. The thing is that, that correct decision might not be a happy decision. But eventually this would result to peace.

When people think that I am just another weird mind with eccentric thoughts, they failed to see that pensive
looking person infront of them; dying to tell them: "I don't give a damn on whatever you are thinking!". Sometimes, I want to break loose but then I guess it's my fault. And perfect people may think I am, I am not.

I built myself a castle. I happily lived in the castle. I feared an invasion. But I think I've allowed it to happen already. In my so called perfect world, I think I left out a minor glitch or is it just that the foundation needs to be restructured?

My pain. Hope that I'm not putting this castle into ruin. Hope and pray that maybe, now is right.

And then, maybe - it's just a trick of fate. And well, I will live.